pavor nocturnus

i thought it was time to explain why my online handle is night terror. well i suffer from night terrors. before you gasp and feel sorrow/pity/concern, don't. i actually think it's funny. mind you, my wife does not. i write this as i had one just last night, so it's fresh in my memory.

so to give you a brief synopsis of night terrors, it is an episode that happens prior to r.e.m. sleep whereby the person feels a pervasive sense of panic, anxiety, and/or fear accompanied by screaming, moaning, or gasping. other effects include an extremely high heart rate and movement, be it thrashing, shaking or a seizure.

now i don't have nearly that severe of night terrors, but they're disconcerting nonetheless. typically (so i'm told), i moan loudly (once i moaned/mumbled 'help me'), become very restless, and my heart races like a mofo. like everyone else, i can't be woken up at this time - or rescued as it were, and am vaguely aware that it is happening, but helpless to stop it. the only time i was ever able to influence a night terror is when i had a dream that i was having a night terror and i could lucidly confront and change the outcome. yes, i dream about night terrors, as if it isn't enough to just have them.

i'll leave this entry on one of the more humorous night terrors i have ever had. i guess the only really humorous one. and it happens to be the first i can recall. going back over 10 years now, when i was first courting my now wife, i brought her home one night and saw her to bed. we were lying there together, on her bed, talking as we both drifted off to sleep. not long in, i began to scream and thrash about. needless to say, holly freaked out and began yelling at me. mind you, it was in the wee hours of the morning, in her bed, with her parents in their room, directly next door, and i'd only known her a couple of months, so she probably had just cause. i didn't know then that these episodes would be an ongoing event, but i guess logic states that i have her to blame.